Hexagram 34 | Dà Zhuàng (Great Power) How to Decide—Toronto or Houston?

I’m in my early twenties, currently living in the basement of a relative’s home in the city I grew up in. Rent is cheap, but the space barely qualifies as livable—there’s no window, barely any ventilation, no closet, and the bathroom doesn’t really work. I use a sun lamp to avoid going crazy. Emotionally, it’s exhausting.

The real issue, though, is the atmosphere in the house. I’m clearly not treated the same as the other family members. Every small thing—from electricity bills to shared space—becomes a point of tension. I feel like a guest in what should feel like home. The one thing I do have here is total freedom. I come and go when I want, and this city is the only place I’ve ever truly known.

But there’s another option. My dad, who lives in the U.S., has offered to let me move into his apartment rent-free. It’s a way better space, and I wouldn’t have to deal with daily micro-conflicts. But I’d be trading freedom for structure—and maybe control. He wasn’t around when I was growing up, and I know that if I move in now, it won’t just be about helping me out. He’ll want to “be a father” again—and I’m not sure I’m willing to be managed like that.

Plus, I’m Canadian. Moving to the U.S. isn’t just emotional—it’s complicated legally. I don’t know how long it would take to get a work permit, or if I’d even be able to work. But the U.S. job market looks a lot more promising than where I’m at now.

I have about $20k saved. No job yet. No great options. Do I stay in a toxic environment that I at least understand, or take a leap toward stability that might cost me my independence?

The Da Zhuang hexagram (☰ below, ☳ above) depicts thunder gathering under heaven—an image of immense, rising energy. Its two‑character verdict, “Da Zhuang, Li Zhen” (大壮，利贞), means “Great Strength, Beneficial to Keep to What Is Right.” When your internal resources and momentum are at their peak, only by acting with integrity and foresight can you turn that strength into genuine progress.

The hexagram’s primary image—thunder resounding under clear sky—warns: even colossal power must not violate proper boundaries (“junzi yi fei li fu lv,” 君子以非礼弗履). You have the courage (your savings, language skills, life experience) but must first clarify the “rules of the game”: visa requirements, family agreements, personal limits.

Key lines reinforce this:

• Initial Nine (“Zhuang yu zi, zheng xiong” 壮于趾，征凶): Strength without depth leads to misfortune. Don’t rush into moving without groundwork.
• Nine Two (“Zhen ji” 贞吉): Steadfast, upright action brings good fortune. Focus on gradual improvement where you are.
• Nine Four (“Fei qi peng, wu jiu” 匪其彭，无咎): Holding back is not a sin. You may pause and reflect before acting.
• Nine Five (“Ti ruo, wei yong fa yi, li ji, wu jiu” 惕若，维用伐邑，厉吉，无咎): Use your influence carefully; when the moment is right, even bold moves can succeed.

Apply these lessons to your dilemma:

Staying in Toronto means leveraging an established network, legal status, and immediate opportunities. You can negotiate clear boundaries with your aunt—agree explicitly on electricity cost‑sharing and common‑area usage—and invest in small changes (light therapy lamp, storage solutions, simple décor) to lift your spirits. By attending local meetups and pursuing freelance or part‑time work, you steadily build skills and connections without the chaos of uprooting your life.

Only once you’ve solidified your footing—understanding U.S. visa options, mapping out a job search plan, and setting clear expectations with your father—should you consider a trial stay in Houston. A short‑term visit under a proper visa lets you assess family dynamics and job prospects without burning bridges at home.

In the spirit of Da Zhuang’s “Great Strength, Hold to What Is Right,” your best path now is to stay in Toronto: harness your existing momentum with integrity and patience. When the time comes, you’ll have the stability, confidence, and preparation to pursue Houston’s opportunities on your own terms.